Here's my feedback:
Graphics - I loved the art, the backgrounds and the character portraits. I especially loved the parallax effect that you've created using foregrounds and backgrounds. It adds a nice modern touch to an older style of game. Hope to see more of that. Also, D'arc is hot. It's a shame he's sixteen.
Puzzles - The dial and the gem puzzles, although cute, were a bit simplistic and obvious. I assume the puzzles in the final game will vary in difficulty, and that not all will involve some sequence or permutation of the four elements.
Dialogue - Mixed feelings. I did chortle once or twice, so the wit is working well, but there were a number of phrases which seemed cliché or contrived. (See below.)
Lore - Don't think it is fair for me to comment on this given the brevity of the demo, but see the dialogue examples below. A game called "Mage's Initiation" with magic and a mage as two of its primary elements should have a fairly robust system of lore at least insofar as those two things are concerned.
Combat - Good, on the whole, but the forest felt cramped. I enjoyed discovering which spells were more effective with which goblins. I hope some of the unrevealed spells have longer durations, so that there is scope for combining them in different ways. Once the goblin corpses started piling up, I had a lot of trouble moving around them, particularly when the corpses were behind the bush and I couldn't see how to navigate around them. Loved the QFG-style battle music.
Gameplay - Loved the dial doors, and especially loved the bizarre surprise and confusion I experienced the first time I tried to return to the reading room from the training room without appreciating how they worked. Loved the music, which perfectly captured what I imagined to be the feel and atmosphere in each room. The brazier and the mortar and pestle in the training hall reminded me of KQ3; it would be fun to construct spells at some point.
Dialogue examples:
In the reading hall, when trying to pick up the hardcover book - "Better not. Whoever left it there weeks ago might come back at any moment." - This is a bit contrived. I'm quite happy for D'arc to decide not to pick up the book, but perhaps for a less spurious reason. I was just told that "everything readable" in the reading room is protected by Bort's spell, so if this book isn't, why wouldn't D'arc the teenager want to sneak a look at it?
In the training hall - "Sphere of Knowledge" - This made me cringe a little. But at least it's not a sorting hat.
Varner re the conductor - "It will channel your Element's Gifts" - Perhaps this will make sense when the game's lore is revealed, but for me it didn't really do anything to explain what the conductor was or how it worked. It makes it sound like the conductor will work some kind of magic of its own. And does my element (fire) have the gifts, or do I have the gifts? The description of the conductor says it can "channel non-aggressive magic and shape it into raw martial power". Not sure what that means either.
Varner re the gem - "It can be made to increase your magic..." - This sounded awkward to me. Does it make sense for someone's "magic" to "increase"? Is this an in-character reference to the 'magic' attribute in my character sheet? Is magic a generic term referring to (eg) my ability to cast spells? Varner goes on to say that I need to "activate the power stored within it". Does it increase my magical ability in some way, or does it have some kind of power of its own, or both? It felt like Varner didn't have a great understanding of these things.
Varner's instructions - "... the Clear Gem I have asked you to find can be Activated using the combined forces of our Elements" - Cringe. This made me think of Captain Planet.
The comments above are nit-picking, but nit-picking is how a good game becomes a great game. I enjoyed the demo and look forward to playing the full game.
Graphics - I loved the art, the backgrounds and the character portraits. I especially loved the parallax effect that you've created using foregrounds and backgrounds. It adds a nice modern touch to an older style of game. Hope to see more of that. Also, D'arc is hot. It's a shame he's sixteen.
Puzzles - The dial and the gem puzzles, although cute, were a bit simplistic and obvious. I assume the puzzles in the final game will vary in difficulty, and that not all will involve some sequence or permutation of the four elements.
Dialogue - Mixed feelings. I did chortle once or twice, so the wit is working well, but there were a number of phrases which seemed cliché or contrived. (See below.)
Lore - Don't think it is fair for me to comment on this given the brevity of the demo, but see the dialogue examples below. A game called "Mage's Initiation" with magic and a mage as two of its primary elements should have a fairly robust system of lore at least insofar as those two things are concerned.
Combat - Good, on the whole, but the forest felt cramped. I enjoyed discovering which spells were more effective with which goblins. I hope some of the unrevealed spells have longer durations, so that there is scope for combining them in different ways. Once the goblin corpses started piling up, I had a lot of trouble moving around them, particularly when the corpses were behind the bush and I couldn't see how to navigate around them. Loved the QFG-style battle music.
Gameplay - Loved the dial doors, and especially loved the bizarre surprise and confusion I experienced the first time I tried to return to the reading room from the training room without appreciating how they worked. Loved the music, which perfectly captured what I imagined to be the feel and atmosphere in each room. The brazier and the mortar and pestle in the training hall reminded me of KQ3; it would be fun to construct spells at some point.
Dialogue examples:
In the reading hall, when trying to pick up the hardcover book - "Better not. Whoever left it there weeks ago might come back at any moment." - This is a bit contrived. I'm quite happy for D'arc to decide not to pick up the book, but perhaps for a less spurious reason. I was just told that "everything readable" in the reading room is protected by Bort's spell, so if this book isn't, why wouldn't D'arc the teenager want to sneak a look at it?
In the training hall - "Sphere of Knowledge" - This made me cringe a little. But at least it's not a sorting hat.
Varner re the conductor - "It will channel your Element's Gifts" - Perhaps this will make sense when the game's lore is revealed, but for me it didn't really do anything to explain what the conductor was or how it worked. It makes it sound like the conductor will work some kind of magic of its own. And does my element (fire) have the gifts, or do I have the gifts? The description of the conductor says it can "channel non-aggressive magic and shape it into raw martial power". Not sure what that means either.
Varner re the gem - "It can be made to increase your magic..." - This sounded awkward to me. Does it make sense for someone's "magic" to "increase"? Is this an in-character reference to the 'magic' attribute in my character sheet? Is magic a generic term referring to (eg) my ability to cast spells? Varner goes on to say that I need to "activate the power stored within it". Does it increase my magical ability in some way, or does it have some kind of power of its own, or both? It felt like Varner didn't have a great understanding of these things.
Varner's instructions - "... the Clear Gem I have asked you to find can be Activated using the combined forces of our Elements" - Cringe. This made me think of Captain Planet.
The comments above are nit-picking, but nit-picking is how a good game becomes a great game. I enjoyed the demo and look forward to playing the full game.